From my research

MJ can be spliced with hops (it's never worked).

If you activate weed (bake at 250-300 weed, for 16-20 minutes) you'll get high for 6-9 hours, your high will be way stronger, but if you smoke the weed your high will be way stronger 1-3 hours.  The explanation is that by activating weed before you smoke it you  activate 40 compounds extra that you will now get higher on.

Deep fried spider

So I'm at church packed for a field trip, I'm happy on the bus and I have money, a pair of laser key chains one with a flashlight.
We got where we were going, I get out want to change my clothes. My two friends close the white van and we go our separate ways.

I meet my friend Zain I give him a key chain and we fight playfully star wars style, we then go to eat. I lead my friend into an  alleyway and we find a Chinese restaurant.
Let's eat here I say, he want's to eat somewhere else, I ask for a menu it's very big, by the 6th page I order a large tempura spider, delicious!  Now they bring the food!

The owner of the restaurant talks to me and I tell him I'm a chef and how good his food is, especially the spider, I go to the bathroom. The bathroom wound up being a staircase, I walk to the top.
It's the kitchen!  Mmm... so much food, the owner is running up the stairs, guess I shouldn't be there so I jump four floors down the stairs.
I tell him I do parkour and sit down smooth! 
Now I'm thinking about the bill, the food had no MSG, I ate a lot of it!
My dad did too, twenty dollars a person I suggest then I think better of it and say twenty five (cause I ate the spider and all :)

Stay wicked high!  BTW this was a dream.

I'm going to upload a video

Stoned

So I really smoked a lot today and I'm feeling very strange.Estrange.Everythong wow that's weird! My body was sunk to the bottom of his bed.   He found creatures good and bad but he always looked up to see the shaft of light that would one day guide him home.    Really stoned for the fourth day! Cheapest entertainment ever, $100 for four days of happiness ? That price is ridiculous. Heck told her that.  Strange things showing up in my head, do you think I should start recording myself, editing the video and have a YouTube channel?

Random stuff, no limits!

So I'm just going to write ridiculous shit! Cats should be gray but they're kinda purple.
 Some weird stuff let me tell ya! I wish I had some energizing weed! #coutchlock!I I'm smoking my weed to fast.  You can buy 24carat gold wrappers for your blunts!
 My eyes are shutting on me.  Funny how I can still type fast or maybe it just feels like that. I need to get a 4k projector.   Yes I'm still high.  I'm going to Poland in a month with my family, it'll be sweet! Did I tell you that I saw a demon last year?  6'5"!like the edge of a shadow just standing there.   Demons you can always feel fear around them.  I only feel fear around them. I'm going to make a shake.

This time I'm curing (or while I was high)

I  just wzlked to the kitchen and had a glass of water. words  jumping in my mind, bla, everything is moving,
imagers flashing in my mind.my neck's slipier, tirfed or echausted.My sotmach is freezinag, it's been fifteen minutes but I feel like it's been two hours.  I want to listen to this fan if In, noirmalky I hate the souynd!
I'm going to Poland this gyear and buy lort'sof dinners.

I'm going to start  drawingwhile high and poisting pictures of the drawing.  talkk to you lkater  ddarling.it jus felt like six hous but was actually 20 minutes.

do womens lips sag when they get older? is that hy thay paint make them so poinnty on top? 40 minutesfqeeel ulikke 10, I love weed!  "I want a sexy time with a babe" Borat lol
haha this is going to be rediculus when I wake up!
My back is floating, tingly like a hot towel.  definately stoned.
baked weed at 250 for 30 min  lets see if it tastes good and gets me higher
just ate an 1/8 ofwactivated green
it's going to takean hour to  get high from the eddible.
o high,Watching minions, soawesome! everythingis funny or a secret referance for adults.
I'm ecstatic, so happy  the edible weed must be working..

What does a spider, waterfall and me have in comon?

I was in the shower  and I noticed a 1 inch  diameter spider but not a daddy long legs, it was more of a tarantula.  The funny thing was that it had enough time to line the bath bottom with  it's web.

I flushed the fucker!  Guess I'm going to update the blog while this high, lol

Scuicide

This is just a story of my  last relationship.

This is a true story.
I use to work at a national park as a chef.  One day I was sitting on the couch in front a tv and we were watching predator 1, a girl (19, tall brunette, perfect skin) sat on the couch next to the one I was sitting on.
The few things that made me suspect she was interested were, 1 she came over when I sat down, she faced me, looked at naked dudes and said "he's so hot".  A  time before she shouted "walk with us" when I was on the other side of the street.  Anyway I knew I needed to ask  her out before I missed my opportunity so I followed her when she walked to her room (it was two doors down form mine) and blurted out "do you want to be my girlfriend?" she actually said yes!
She's my wife now and we argue sometimes(oh well).

Fuck fate! She said "I don't even know you" and since I've never had a girlfriend I didn't know you were supposed to hang out first and transition.  The fucked up thing is, she did love me and... died two weeks after that conversation from drinking vodka which kept her epilepsy medicine from working.

I've never asked a girl out since and probably never will, I'll just find new excuses not too.
I might try suicide again, I think a drug overdose would be best...
Comment bellow and vote on the suicide I should commit!

Here are your choices (comment the word counts as a vote).

Hanging- jumping off a tree with a strong, thin line so it cuts my head off
Drug overdose- I've only done weed, any suggestions?
Drowning- diving deep enough that I can't surface in time
Jumping off a cliff
driving a car- off a cliff, into a lake with doors locked and taped shut

I'd love to hear ideas as well!

Stay high...

Going on a bender

I will probably be to high to update this blog for a week but I will record notes and update the blog after I'm out of weed, lol

I had as great time with a worm

As always I was high. today I found myself playing in the mud.  A hose was wetting the torn up grass and everything felt great.  I lifted a worm up to my mouth and suddenly it changed into a gummy worm.  I stuck the worm in my MOUTH and started chewing.  I expected a stream of sweetness to fill my mouth but all I could taste was a mud vitamin.  I threw up that day, unfortunately I fell into the vomit and had a  disgusting treat in my mouth again.

Stay high!

Perfect munchies snack

You need
x1 pack of oreos
x1 dark baking chocolate
x1 bag marshmallows
x3 cups milk

 Prep time 5 minutes
Cook time 3 minutes

Grab the bag of oreos and separate the two halves.
Set the ones with the frosting on  the left side of your  backing pan and the unfrosted halves.
Grab the baking chocolate and break the pack of baking chocolate into individual pieces.
bake at 250 for 2 minutes.

Place the individual  pieces of  chocolate (what a wonderful word!) on the frosted Oreo halves.
Now take the unfrosted halves and place a marshmallow on each one.
Bake for 30 seconds at 250.

Now take your dessert and place both halves together., add activated weed.

Freeze, get high and enjoy with your milk!

Stay high!

FInding weed on the dark web

The cheapest weed is in Mexico ($100 for 2,5lbs) but if you want high quality weed follow this guide, it's actually priced well but it takes a bit of work to buy it.

1.First download a "vpn" (virtual private network) if you want to be really safe  pas for one.

2.Download  "tor browser"

3.Get bitcoins (virtual currency for anonymity).  One way is to spend money and mine coins but the cost is very high.  The other is to go to an atm and buy bitcoins.              http://www.coindesk.com/bitcoin-atm-map/

4.Visit http://lchudifyeqm4ldjj.onion/ or  http://reloadedudjtjvxr.onion/road.php
for stores selling all "that".

Tips.
Be honest with the seller(the site has a review system so cheating you isn't in the best interest of the seller).
Try to see how much everything costs before buying. When you buy be chill about ther delivery time.
 Wait 24hours before opening the package (just in case the cops are pulling a sting). if they ask about the package just say you don't recognize it (be chill!)

Stay high!

Smoking weed next to a cop

So I got high today (like I always do),and I felt brave you know?  Sitting on the couch, smoking a duby and thinking.  Well I came to the realization that it was a high wasted just "sitting on the couch" so I get up (kinda wobbly) and walk to the store, the munchies got me.  I must have been smiling as wide as a high speed train, the cashier obviously knew I was high but just looked sad that he couldn't join me.

I walked to the park, sat on  a bench and pulled my vape out, I start smoking like an exhaust on a car. thank God it was a vaporizer because when I heard a voice behind the bench an ice cold shudder ran down my spine!  I tried to be cool and slowly turned around to face the speaker.  "Good day officer" I said with a crack in my voice.  "sir did you know it was against the law to smoke near the playground?".  "I'm sorry officer I didn't know".   

I don't remember the rest of the conversation but I found a $20 fine in my pocket when I came down the next morning.  All I thought  was "fuck! I lost  $20 I could have spent on weed".

Killing myself

I was really, really high today. 
I spoke to the wind and heard birds speaking to me as if I was one of them (they were trying to convince me that I was a bird).   I walked among them and I started shrinking, slowly at first but it sped up.
My  mind started spinning.   I walked to the kitchen and grabbed a knife, walking to the living room I decided to lie down.   I feared the neighbors might come in. I stabbed myself in the wrist and passed out.

The next morning I found myself with a  knife in my hand and a deep cut on the top of my wrist.  I was caked  in blood.  The cut wasn't deep so I quickly poured some alcohol on it to sanitize and clean the cut.  I took a  paper towel and dried my cut compressing it to stop the  bleeding. 
Searching for super glue and finding the small tube I quickly removed the paper towel and poured a bit on the cut while pushing the skin together.  A few minutes later I could use my arm again and all I felt was acold pain when I moved my wrist.

So a few of you wrote me and asked "What do you smoke?", my reply.
Dear Andrew, Mary, Jasmine and Jered, it's none of your business! Fuck off!

Regards- Tim

Too high!

I didn't know it would happen today but I over did it.

I took some hash, rolled the joint.  I rolled it in some hash oil and then rolled it in some kief.

That joint took an hour to smoke!  It was amazing!  I could see my world morphing and changing colors for 17 straight hours!  At one point I tried to make a sandwich but wound up trying to eat the couch!
After about two hours I started to be really frighted, I thought the cops would be there at any moment!
I even thought there was a giant alien with a flat head enveloping the earth in it's mighty tentacles!

Don't get this f'ed up! Just send me your extra weed! LOL, jk jk!

Happy stoning everyone!

I jumped out of a tree today

SO today I smoked a bowl with weed and green grass (strengthens the  weed by 40%).  I decided to take a walk(barefoot with blackberries all around) and I see this cool tree and I think to myself "it would be so sweet to take a look at the neighbor's weed.

 I start climbing the tree and my hands get really tired but I keep climbing.  Eventually the pine needles get in the way and I start climbing down, then I think to myself "is this a dream? I like dreams.  is this a dream where I can fly?  Let's see"  and I jump! Thank God there was a pond right there!  I got cold, walked home and ate all the snacks.

Gotta be careful when  you're high!

Smelling my neighbor's marijuana

My friend told me the neighbor had a small forest of mj growing and I wanted to see, smell and take some (free weed right?).  So I walk through my friend's property, half way through my walk  I smell weed but I don't see it because of the  tall blackberries on the fence.  Then I reach the end of his property and smell a candy skunky smell (good weed), on the way back I could smell really powerful kush!

So regular, kush and sweet weed!  I'm definitely going to try and get some tomorrow!

psychodelic dream!

It's the end of the world!
 
 I'm on a trip with my family to Canada, I walk into an enormous movie theater, I order a soda.                                                         The waitress asks me if I have the money to pay for it, I look in my wallet and find two quarters.    I ask her to take it back and  then I remember my debit card,  I open my black leather wallet again and pull it out.        I ask what she has to eat but she just walks away with the drink. 

I walk to the bathroom and see Shawn from my old job (we were never friends) working in the hallway, I run towards him and give him a giant hug.  "Buddy"! I yell, you smoke weed?    He said he never did, we walk to find some weed and see the thin guy from superbad. I know him somehow, we greet.
I go down into this room down the stairs (there's glass covering 50% of the entrance from the top down the doorway is 4ft high).
So I force myself to fit through and walk downstairs, I find half an Oz and put it in my pocket.  
 I get stuck in the door, a chick thinks I'm a zombie. She walks over and I yell I'm not a zombie! She tries to help me by breaking the glass (4in thick) she does after kicking straight down on it. 

I leave and our group walks through the streets, we see four chicks sitting on a car and low roof, thin dares me to date one, I say "whatever" and walk to the girl on the very left and ask "do you want to go on a date?". She jumps off the low roof and said "I don't know you", So we keep walking, it's night time and Shawn asks if he can smell the weed so I pass the bag and he shakes it into his hands. 

I see a police station and think we should steal some weed from the evidence locker but the guy's are too scared so they talk me out of it. We enter a building, I find the kitchen and see weed sand materials we can use for a pipe. "Guys get over here!".

I wake up: That's when my friend's fucking phone rings and I wake up!

Hi, I don't know you and you probably don't know me (I hope you don't!)

 My life is a joke, I have a brother (I was probably just like him at one point).  I'm jealous of my brother's looks, his clean future laid out before him.  Girls hit on him constantly (I've had a girl on a dating site respond  to "hey, how's it going with "ew"...).

 I've been sick with Lyme disease  for nearly five years now and it's killing me I used to be an artist, I used to rock climb... 

 The fact that my life is fucked isn't even the worst thing, the worst thing is my paranoia, depression and feeling like everyone is against me...      I've been to 40 countries but I'd trade that for just one year of not being sick...   I tried to commit suicide one time, belt + bed = failed suicide (the belt broke, I'm not entirely happy I failed).

I as the only one in the family have a round bulbous nose, hair as thick as your eyebrows on my legs and half of that on my arms.  When I was a kid I was bothered by my eyebrows so I took a razor and shaved them off, they grew back four times bushier and darker.  I have plenty of scars on my  arms, legs, forehead and hands.  I've always been much smarter then my age, looked young for my age and been younger emotionally.
 I still have acne at 23, fuck me right?  

I've had a very hard life, so I started smoking weed last year, that's the only time I can let go of all my troubles...  I've been applying for social disability for 5 months, it's a special type that only allows me to go to my home country for one month a year (Is it really my fault that I got sick before I got the necessary work time?    

I'm going to sell weed if I can figure out how to do it legally.  I think I'm one of the people that deserve to do it...

Well here's my fuck me story! Hope you liked it (it's my way of unloading years of suffering).

two boxesof sugar coated, white flour, strawberry crackers.

Eyes are kinda heavy. I feel like magnets jerking my left hand up.  My stomach is going numb, I can't feel my arms, legs or back. 

I've been smoking weed for five days now.

Today I smoked a whole lot.

My feet are numb

Feet are numb, I feel pleasantly warm. My feet feel ice frozen (stiff).

 Burt wonderstone. Steve gray after his drill accident is the funniest character of all time! I can't feel my arms, legs or back.

I can feel my heart beating in my foot.

                               

 My vision is swirly it's the strangest it's ever been.                        Now the world is trapped in slow motion, I can feel gravity pulling  me down. 

Note I need to track time while I'm high to see what my perception is like. It's 4:15am but it it's feels like 1am.                                         I feel  like my eyebrows are vanishing and reappearing.    

My eyes act slower than my will tells them too.