What does a spider, waterfall and me have in comon?

I was in the shower  and I noticed a 1 inch  diameter spider but not a daddy long legs, it was more of a tarantula.  The funny thing was that it had enough time to line the bath bottom with  it's web.

I flushed the fucker!  Guess I'm going to update the blog while this high, lol

Scuicide

This is just a story of my  last relationship.

This is a true story.
I use to work at a national park as a chef.  One day I was sitting on the couch in front a tv and we were watching predator 1, a girl (19, tall brunette, perfect skin) sat on the couch next to the one I was sitting on.
The few things that made me suspect she was interested were, 1 she came over when I sat down, she faced me, looked at naked dudes and said "he's so hot".  A  time before she shouted "walk with us" when I was on the other side of the street.  Anyway I knew I needed to ask  her out before I missed my opportunity so I followed her when she walked to her room (it was two doors down form mine) and blurted out "do you want to be my girlfriend?" she actually said yes!
She's my wife now and we argue sometimes(oh well).

Fuck fate! She said "I don't even know you" and since I've never had a girlfriend I didn't know you were supposed to hang out first and transition.  The fucked up thing is, she did love me and... died two weeks after that conversation from drinking vodka which kept her epilepsy medicine from working.

I've never asked a girl out since and probably never will, I'll just find new excuses not too.
I might try suicide again, I think a drug overdose would be best...
Comment bellow and vote on the suicide I should commit!

Here are your choices (comment the word counts as a vote).

Hanging- jumping off a tree with a strong, thin line so it cuts my head off
Drug overdose- I've only done weed, any suggestions?
Drowning- diving deep enough that I can't surface in time
Jumping off a cliff
driving a car- off a cliff, into a lake with doors locked and taped shut

I'd love to hear ideas as well!

Stay high...

Going on a bender

I will probably be to high to update this blog for a week but I will record notes and update the blog after I'm out of weed, lol

I had as great time with a worm

As always I was high. today I found myself playing in the mud.  A hose was wetting the torn up grass and everything felt great.  I lifted a worm up to my mouth and suddenly it changed into a gummy worm.  I stuck the worm in my MOUTH and started chewing.  I expected a stream of sweetness to fill my mouth but all I could taste was a mud vitamin.  I threw up that day, unfortunately I fell into the vomit and had a  disgusting treat in my mouth again.

Stay high!

Perfect munchies snack

You need
x1 pack of oreos
x1 dark baking chocolate
x1 bag marshmallows
x3 cups milk

 Prep time 5 minutes
Cook time 3 minutes

Grab the bag of oreos and separate the two halves.
Set the ones with the frosting on  the left side of your  backing pan and the unfrosted halves.
Grab the baking chocolate and break the pack of baking chocolate into individual pieces.
bake at 250 for 2 minutes.

Place the individual  pieces of  chocolate (what a wonderful word!) on the frosted Oreo halves.
Now take the unfrosted halves and place a marshmallow on each one.
Bake for 30 seconds at 250.

Now take your dessert and place both halves together., add activated weed.

Freeze, get high and enjoy with your milk!

Stay high!

FInding weed on the dark web

The cheapest weed is in Mexico ($100 for 2,5lbs) but if you want high quality weed follow this guide, it's actually priced well but it takes a bit of work to buy it.

1.First download a "vpn" (virtual private network) if you want to be really safe  pas for one.

2.Download  "tor browser"

3.Get bitcoins (virtual currency for anonymity).  One way is to spend money and mine coins but the cost is very high.  The other is to go to an atm and buy bitcoins.              http://www.coindesk.com/bitcoin-atm-map/

4.Visit http://lchudifyeqm4ldjj.onion/ or  http://reloadedudjtjvxr.onion/road.php
for stores selling all "that".

Tips.
Be honest with the seller(the site has a review system so cheating you isn't in the best interest of the seller).
Try to see how much everything costs before buying. When you buy be chill about ther delivery time.
 Wait 24hours before opening the package (just in case the cops are pulling a sting). if they ask about the package just say you don't recognize it (be chill!)

Stay high!

Smoking weed next to a cop

So I got high today (like I always do),and I felt brave you know?  Sitting on the couch, smoking a duby and thinking.  Well I came to the realization that it was a high wasted just "sitting on the couch" so I get up (kinda wobbly) and walk to the store, the munchies got me.  I must have been smiling as wide as a high speed train, the cashier obviously knew I was high but just looked sad that he couldn't join me.

I walked to the park, sat on  a bench and pulled my vape out, I start smoking like an exhaust on a car. thank God it was a vaporizer because when I heard a voice behind the bench an ice cold shudder ran down my spine!  I tried to be cool and slowly turned around to face the speaker.  "Good day officer" I said with a crack in my voice.  "sir did you know it was against the law to smoke near the playground?".  "I'm sorry officer I didn't know".   

I don't remember the rest of the conversation but I found a $20 fine in my pocket when I came down the next morning.  All I thought  was "fuck! I lost  $20 I could have spent on weed".